When you’re in a relationship, you want to feel like you’re number one, and that when it comes to making decisions, planning events, or even simply spending time together, your feelings and opinions are the first thing on your partner’s mind. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case, and you end up on the back burner more often than not. Being an option rather than a priority can feel pretty crappy. It can chip away at your confidence and make you feel worthless. But how can you tell the difference? Here are a few signs he’s not putting you first.
1. MOST OF THE TIME YOU SPEND WITH HIM HAPPENS LAST MINUTE.
He likes to see what other options he has before he makes any definitive plans with you. This means he’s likely to ask if you want to hang out, only when he knows for sure that there’s nothing else to do.
2. HE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR PLANS, BUT STILL WON’T MAKE ANY WITH YOU.
In order to know exactly what his options are, he’ll ask you what your plans are for the evening/weekend and see if you’re free or not. This way, he knows that if all else fails, he has you to turn to.
3. YOU’RE NOT THE PERSON HE TAKES TO BIG EVENTS.
His best friend’s wedding is coming up? If you’re a priority, you’re his +1 without question. If you’re an option, he ends up inviting his sister (or worse, his ex) for some inexplicable reason.
4. HE FREQUENTLY BAILS ON THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
Mostly because that things that are important to you aren’t important to him. He makes excuses about being “busy”, but when you see him posting on Facebook later about playing Call of Duty all night, you start to get the hint.
5. UNLESS THERE’S SOMETHING HE WANTS, IT’LL TAKE HIM FOREVER TO RESPOND TO YOU.
If you happen to be too busy to reply to his text, he’ll give you attitude about it, but it doesn’t work that way when he ignores you.